Evan Quinlan

Archive for July, 2012|Monthly archive page

How to Get Away with Almost Anything

In Drabbles, Fiction, Short Stories on July 30, 2012 at 10:53 pm

The ad had read, How to avoid any legal charge short of mass murder; a five-minute class.

We all wandered into the classroom and sat down.  The teacher looked ordinary enough.  “Pick up your pencils, please,” he said.  We did.

“Let’s begin with how I will avoid a trespassing charge today, since I don’t actually have permission to be here.”  He paused, grinning.

“Okay, how?”  I asked.

“It’s easy.  For killing a room full of people using pencils smeared with fast-acting, skin-absorbed poison, I’ll be charged with mass-murder.  But I guarantee the authorities will overlook the trespassing.  See?  Guaranteed success!”

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Sharply Accused

In Poetry on July 23, 2012 at 10:49 pm

Meeting in secrecy under her bed
Two knives conspired to take her head

One was long and one was squat
Together they did what one could not

They waited until the woman slept
Then out from under her bed they crept

And woe, for nobody understands
Those knives are at fault, not my innocent hands!

Cramped

In Haiku, Non-Fiction on July 10, 2012 at 7:11 pm

Louis built Versailles because
the Louvre was “too cramped.”
Too bad coffins are so small.