Evan Quinlan

Archive for the ‘Drabbles’ Category

The Clincher

In Drabbles, Fiction, Mysticism, Short Stories on June 16, 2019 at 2:04 pm

They built a computer which, existing partly inside and partly outside the known universe, could accurately answer any question about the known universe and itself (and do so quickly, since the outside part was unconstrained by time).

Those who won the bid to ask questions first were wayward priests seeking to discover the forbidden answers—ones the truly faithful would never seek.

“Is there a god?” The first asked nervously.

“Yes.”

The priest rejoiced.

“Is there only one god?” The second asked hopefully.

“Yes.”

That priest rejoiced.

“Oh no…” muttered the third priest despairingly, then asked: “…Are you a god?”

Coffee and Spirits

In Drabbles, Fan Fiction, Fiction, Short Stories on June 14, 2019 at 2:17 pm

This is part of a series of 27 drabbles inspired by Kyle Johannessen’s short film Devil May Care.

Death and Lucifer had been friends for a long time (he liked her devil-may-care attitude; she liked his morbidity). So how, Death wondered, do you break bad news to a friend?

“Lou,” she said over her untouched coffee, “I know you think you’re sending good people to Heaven when you kill them. But you’re not.”

“Really?” Lou said, leaning back in his chair. “Because they haven’t come my way.”

“That’s the bad news… Heaven’s not taking them. They’re wise to your new experiment.”

“Damn,” said Lou. “So where’re they going?”

“NOWHERE,” said the ghosts crowded into the cafe behind him.

Humans Anonymous

In Drabbles, Fan Fiction, Fiction, Short Stories on June 13, 2019 at 4:44 pm

This is part of a series of 27 drabbles inspired by Kyle Johannessen’s short film Devil May Care.

“So,” said Lou, “to what do I owe this pleasant visit?”

“That should be obvious,” said Death. “I’ve received over a dozen souls from this church in under a week, and they all told me the same story, that they were imprisoned by a maniac running an involuntary self-help group. So I thought I’d come see.”

Humans Anonymous,” said Lou proudly. “I figured, if humans sin constantly like Father says, I can help out by stopping them from doing anything at all!”

Death nodded, calmly regarding each of the captive humans wriggling hopelessly against their bonds on the basement floor.

Allegory In Bronze

In Drabbles, Fiction, Short Stories on December 17, 2017 at 3:14 pm

She read about the brazen bull, an ancient Greek torture device that transformed screams into music, and her neck hairs stood on end. People could be so horrible to each other. That night, though she often slept badly due to chronic pains and anxieties, she fell deeply into a dream: Greek soldiers forced her into the brazen bull, but instead of a bronze enclosure heated by coals, the bull contained the entire world.

In the morning, though her body ached, she sang in the shower. She would follow the example of the brazen bull and transform her pain into song.

Skyward Circle

In Drabbles, Fiction, Short Stories on November 6, 2017 at 10:05 pm

Each night she waits for me in the vineyard, her face in starlight.

I’m in pain, she explains.

I know, I say, and I uncork the bottle.

We don’t often drink the wine we produce—that would be a vicious circle! Instead, we drink other people’s wine, stomp drunkenly on our own grapes until they become wine, then sell that to afford even more wine.

Tell us it’s wrong. Go ahead, try! We’ll taunt you from our viny hideaway, jeering, giggling and crying in unison.

We’ll remain unkempt. We’ll dance away merrily and howl at the moon.

This is love.

The Lovely Q

In Drabbles, Poetry, Short Stories on January 27, 2015 at 6:51 pm

She’s a rare letter.

It’s hard to think of ways to describe her, like when you play Scrabble and you could get a load of points if only some impossible word were real. You can try to will that word into existence, but when she looks it up in her dictionary it won’t count for much. So you have to try your best with what you have.

She has pleasant curves.

There’s that beautiful, shapely leg.

When you see her you want to say something smart but you can only make a kind of pathetic hissing noise in the back of your mouth. She’s the kind of girl who does that to you.

Oh, there’s a string of adjectives to try… quick-witted, equal to none, quivering (like an aspen), quintessential the-girl-you-love.

In the end, what makes you so lucky is,

she goes well with you.

I Had the Strangest Dream

In Drabbles, Fiction, Short Stories on January 27, 2015 at 6:33 pm

Yesterday morning you told me about all about your dream, but I didn’t listen. I tried to pay attention, but coffee beckoned. You said something about poison…? A conspiracy…? Superheroes, and how you had to fake your death. That was enough; I didn’t need the details, so I nodded and went into the kitchen.

People say about mirrors, maybe that other world is real, but it doesn’t scare you because you know.

…I don’t have much longer; I heard feet landing on the roof. It might be Superman, or Spider-Man, or any of them. They’re all here, and they’re all after me.

It’s been two weeks. The details are complex; the plot in which I am embroiled cannot be described on a single used napkin.

They’re coming. I need to escape. Or I need to make them think I’m already dead.

I wish I’d listened.

Undermine

In Drabbles, Fan Fiction, Fiction, Short Stories on April 5, 2013 at 1:24 pm

This is part of a series of 27 drabbles inspired by Kyle Johannessen’s upcoming short film Devil May Care, currently accepting donations. Contribute and be part of the magic!


“So,” said Death, “You live in the basement of a vacant church.”

“That’s right,” said Lucifer.  “Home sweet home.”

“Does it hurt?  Can you even touch the walls?”

“Actually,” replied Lucifer, “I find this place quite comfortable.  For two reasons.”  He held up two fingers.

Death just looked at him.

“Guess,” Lucifer said.

“Alright.  The first reason is… spite.”

“Usually, yes.  But not now.  I’m trying to be good.”

“Okay, then.  You like things that have fallen from faith.”

“Bingo.  And second?”

“You feel at home living far below God.”

Lucifer thought.

“I was gonna say ‘no landlord,’ but… yeah.”

Homeless

In Drabbles, Fan Fiction, Fiction, Short Stories on March 18, 2013 at 9:23 pm

This is part of a series of 27 drabbles inspired by Kyle Johannessen’s short film Devil May Care, currently open for funding at indiegogo.com.


On Earth angels and demons walked free and Lucifer found that a bother.  Earth made him feel closer to Heaven, for which he longed, but Heaven was closed and Hell wasn’t home so Lucifer made do with Earth.  But he needed a hideaway.

At first he felt a pull toward the homeless, thinking they’d understand.  But the homeless made poor cohorts and he toyed with them more often than identified with them.

Home.

“You live here?” Lucifer’s date asked.

“Yes.  Come in,” he said.

So the woman stepped through the door into the basement of what had once been a church.

Cutting Losses

In Drabbles, Fan Fiction, Fiction, Short Stories on March 12, 2013 at 11:20 am

This is part of a series of 27 drabbles inspired by Kyle Johannessen’s short film Devil May Care, currently open for funding at indiegogo.com.


“Spare change?”

The girl held her hand toward Lucifer.

“What constitutes ‘spare change’?”  Lucifer asked.

“Um… you don’t want it anymore.”

“Ah.  Then you and I are spare change.”

The girl looked perplexed.

“But,” said Lucifer, “I’m going to fix two problems at once.”

He produced a check for $6.16 million.

“I’ll give you the spare change you want.  Then society will want you.”

He handed her the check.

“Now give me your blessing, mortal.  I need points upstairs.  Trying to change.”

But the girl walked away.

“Hey!” Lucifer called, but she turned a corner.

So he shrugged.  And took her soul.