Evan Quinlan

The Santa Scale

In Drabbles, Fiction, Short Stories on November 17, 2010 at 5:21 pm

A major toy retailer almost made an incredible discovery.

Hidden scales and microphones were installed beneath the chairs of mall Santas in demographically similar locations across the country.  By subtracting the weight of the chair and “Santa,” researchers could calculate the heaviness of each lap-faring child.  Recordings were made of the children’s wish lists.  If any correlations emerged between weight and requested toys, the company could more effectively market to children discretely weighed in their stores.  On the verge of identifying one such trend, an elated research team failed to notice that one mall Santa in Nebraska weighed nothing at all…

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