This is part of a series of 27 drabbles inspired by Kyle Johannessen’s short film Devil May Care.

“So,” said Lou, “to what do I owe this pleasant visit?”

“That should be obvious,” said Death. “I’ve received over a dozen souls from this church in under a week, and they all told me the same story, that they were imprisoned by a maniac running an involuntary self-help group. So I thought I’d come see.”

“Humans Anonymous,” said Lou proudly. “I figured, if humans sin constantly like Father says, I can help out by stopping them from doing anything at all!”

Death nodded, calmly regarding each of the captive humans wriggling hopelessly against their bonds on the basement floor.