She swaggered into my office with hips that knocked my libido into next week.  I’m sure she saw <3 in my eyes but girls like her turn <3 into </3 faster than you can say :-X.

“O:-)” she purred demurely but I didn’t buy the act.  I knew a >:-) when I saw one.  I’d have to play it B-).

“:-/” I inquired skeptically.

“:-P” she teased, coming closer.  She sat on my lap and came in for :-* but I saw her slipping the gun out of her garter belt.  I was faster.  With a look of :-O and then :'( she collapsed on the desk with a smoking hole in her back.

The tattoo on her now cold shoulder confirmed my suspicions: she had come for the Maltese :(|).  Well, she’d never get it.